Raising Children With Self Esteem
Self-esteem is a concept that is receiving more and more attention. Although this term is sometimes used as something trite or ambiguous, it is actually one of the fundamental pillars of a healthy and well-adjusted personality. So let’s share some important information for raising children with self-esteem.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the set of perceptions, thoughts, feelings and judgments about ourselves. It’s what I think and feel about myself and how satisfied I am with who I am.
Self-esteem is not something innate, that is, we are not born with it. Rather, it is a concept that develops throughout our lives and can be modified. And so, even if a child already has low self-esteem, we can still help him get better.
Why is self-esteem so important?
We’ve all heard and repeated the phrase “love your neighbor as yourself”. However, for some reason, we often forget the last part: we forget that loving ourselves is the first step, and that it is essential.
Children with good self-esteem
- Children with good self-esteem feel valued, accepted and secure. They have the confidence to try new things and explore the world around them.
- This belief in their own abilities leads them to do their best when faced with a task and to take pride in what they are capable of doing.
- They know how to tolerate frustration when something goes wrong on the first try and are able to adapt and try again. They don’t see the mistake as a personal failure, but as part of learning. Therefore, they do not judge themselves in a harsh way.
- This way of seeing life leads them to perform better both at school and in the social and family spheres.
Children with low self-esteem
- Children with low self-esteem lack self-confidence and feel insecure. They feel they are not as good as others, doubt their abilities and often focus on the negatives.
- When trying out new environments or activities, they are likely to give up easily or not even try at all, as they have difficulty managing a mistake or failure. Also, they are often highly critical and hard on themselves.
- They may find it difficult to integrate, especially if they feel that others do not accept them. They are likely to even allow other people to treat them badly, as they have difficulty defending themselves.
- As a result, they do not perform as well as they could in any area of their lives, as fear overshadows their potential.
How to raise children with self-esteem?
- Love the child unconditionally. Show affection and repeat that you love her, no matter what she does. Also, when correcting it, be sure to make it clear that the error is in a specific behavior, not you.
- Pay attention. Find times to be alone with your child. Look him in the eye when he talks to you. That way you show that you’re listening and that he’s really important to you.
- Offer options. From the age of two, the child already has the ability to decide about small things. Encourage this behavior as it will convey the idea that you trust your ability to make decisions.
- Set clear and consistent boundaries. This will help your child feel safe.
- Allow the child to make mistakes and encourage their independence. Encourage her to do tasks on her own, and if she makes mistakes, don’t correct her right away. Let her figure out the error herself and look for a better option.
- Avoid comparisons. Emphasize the idea that we are all different and that we have our own talents. Teach to admire and learn from others rather than envy them, and also to be proud of your own virtues rather than comparing them.
- Develop your adaptability. Teach how to face life’s challenges and remind the child that the most important thing is not to make it on the first try, but to try it with determination and confidence.
- Welcome your emotions and tantrums. Help identify and control emotions.
- Be an example of self-esteem. Express your pride in your accomplishments and avoid saying negative things about yourself.
- Provide a positive environment. Get your child used to talking every night about what was good in his day and to repeating every morning the great qualities he has.
