You And I Are Parents, But We’re Also A Couple
The two of us are parents and we are a couple. We are two in one. We are two people who keep looking for each other with their eyes.
We are three who continue to trace their complicity in the caresses, being fully aware that we have entered a new stage, something bigger, intense, different…
When talking about the couple’s bond in relation to their children, it is very common to find books, works and articles that explain, on the one hand, how we should agree with the child’s education.
Or, on the other hand, how should we face this empty-nest stage where, finally, our children will leave the house.
But what about the couple? What happens to this intimate and private sphere when the first baby is born and somehow we are no longer the same as before?
Because, like it or not, both the father and the mother undergo a small internal revolution, in which new roles appear. That is, new responsibilities that, in some way, will affect the couple’s own relationship.
Today, in “ I’m Mommy ”, we want to talk a little more about it.
Now you and I are three: when the couple grows in every way
There are those who talk about a small crisis, new roles and even contradictory feelings.
Until recently, it was often said that it was common for the father to feel “out of place”, that this intimate dependence of the baby on the mother left the father figure aside.
However, these days,
paternal upbringing is more active and more present
. This leads us to focus this whole private atmosphere of the couple in relation to the child in another way, in another way, richer, more nourished and positive for everyone.
We are tired, but our complicity, illusion and affection accompany us
Last minute plans are over. Just like the plans not to cook today, to go out this weekend you and I alone… Everything changes, we know. But the arrival of a child is a big, positive change.
Therefore, it is common for the most complex moments to be those when you come home from the hospital, when you try to share responsibilities, attend to cries, change diapers, adjust work schedules and look at our faces to laugh at our dark circles, our tiredness …
Everything is so new and intense. And the new stages in couples are always lived with intensity. They are a challenge that, in turn, allow us to get to know each other much better. These are times when we come to love each other much more.
Mom and Dad thank you for being alone for a few weeks! They are preparing the nest!
After the baby is born, new parents will no doubt appreciate a little time in intimacy and solitude.
The time will be for the family to get used to the new member. Then there will be time for friends to get to know this little treasure and there will be time for us to fill the house with movement, laughter and good company.
Now what parents want is to snuggle. And this period of time that usually lasts the father’s work break – usually shorter than the mother’s – will help them not only to get to know the baby, but also to have him around and shower him with kisses, caresses and attentions.
Of course, this will also make the couple look each other in the eye to meet again as “parents” and as “family”, leaving behind the phase when they were just the two of them.
You and I are still one. You and I are two in a new stage
In this new stage, there will be multiple difficulties, new challenges and responsibilities in which we must always be the best reference for our children.
However, there is one aspect that we must never neglect: the couple’s relationship. In other words, our bond, this magic that must continue to feed itself through looks and small details.
Sometimes, this demanding routine of raising a child makes us neglect certain things, forgetting to look into our eyes, to laugh at anything and everything, to say nice words, have preferences, value the other, admire each other, take care of each other from each other as we did before.
The baby needs everything, we know. But this is not at odds with having a time of intimacy, a special day that allows the family to help us to have a dinner alone, a short break to talk, to meet again…
Likewise, we cannot forget that the relationship is built on a day-to-day basis.
It is at home and in our daily lives where the most significant love is nourished. It is in this place where we take care of ourselves and feed ourselves with good times, complicity, caresses, laughs and those looks that say everything without words…
