Are You A Toxic Mother?
In our society there are many toxic mothers. Do you consider yourself a toxic mother? Find out in this article if you have the features.
Are you a toxic mother?
Many mothers don’t know they are a toxic mother.
The behaviors of toxic mothers are determined by some characteristics of their personality. Usually they are women so dominant and strong that they need to keep everything under control.
These are people who think that expressing feelings is a sign of weakness and prefer to keep emotional distances. Furthermore, they are also narcissistic mothers, focused solely on themselves.
In any case, at the base of these educational styles there is almost always a great insecurity, since these behaviors are a way of reaffirming and gaining security from others.
Characteristics of the toxic mother
Toxic mothers are those who have a negative view of the world. They are often destructive, overly controlling or overprotective, and do not contribute to your children’s personal growth.
Are overly controlling
Typically a toxic mother is a person who has the need to have control over every aspect of their life. In the same way, try to control all areas of your child’s life.
Exercising control is your way of expressing love and affection for others. Therefore, she sees her actions as something positive and necessary in her relationship with her child.
In addition, it is possible that she becomes angry if the child decides to make a decision other than the one pointed out by her.
They use manipulation to achieve their goals
When children try to be independent, these mothers often take offense and say they feel rejected.
Thus, faced with the possibility of hurting the mother, they make the child change his behavior or do things hidden so as not to make him suffer.
Thus, in many cases, children do things they don’t want to, building up resentment when making these decisions, as mothers use emotional blackmail to achieve their purposes.
They always try to be the center of attention
It may be that the toxic mother expresses a double wish.
On the one hand, he wants his son to be successful in life and get everything he wants. But on the other hand, she doesn’t want it to surpass itself in any aspect.
Thus, they say that the child needs to be successful in life and pursue his goals, but he cannot surpass them because then he would no longer be the center of attention.
In other cases, toxic mothers can use different illnesses and discomforts so that their children are always available to them.
It is normal in these cases to use manipulation through arguments to get them to do what they consider right.
are excessively authoritarian
Everything must be done according to your criteria and do not admit that the children have other opinions or choose other alternatives.
It is also normal for them to give their opinion on everything that has to do with their child’s relationships. This can lead to confrontations if the child starts to disengage from the relationship and show more independence.
How not to be a toxic mother
In order not to be a toxic mother, you first need to ask yourself if you can change.
You need to try to change the way you relate to your child so that you can have more self-control, improve your personal skills, and communicate better assertively rather than aggressively.
Always remember that you must not forget these little tips:
- you are a mother, not a friend
- you are mother not daughter
- don’t compete with your daughter
- You don’t need to be in control all the time
- Don’t use emotional blackmail
- listen beyond just listen
- be more flexible
- learn to laugh
- Use self-criticism
The result of all this will be that you will enjoy life more, and people from your family and social surroundings will get closer to you.
In this way, you will go from being a toxic mother to a more caring mother who makes the lives of others more pleasant, always starting with an internal process of continual change.
