Overprotected Children: The Danger Of Narcissism

All of us parents want others to positively value our children. We want the world to be able to see them as we see them: smart, special and good. There is no greater fan of a child than their own parents.  And this is often a big mistake. We don’t realize that by doing this, we’re fomenting the problem of child narcissism.

The children’s happiness is one of the parents’ priorities.  We are afraid that the child will suffer, that he will be traumatized, and that this will lead to problems as an adult. They are our greatest joy and for that reason, we want to give them all the ease and opportunities that we ourselves didn’t have. The problem is that we don’t let them strive for a goal, and that will ultimately  be worse than any childhood trauma.

They become narcissistic, naughty and weak children.  They can speak 3 languages ​​at 7 years of age, but they can’t tie their shoes or set the table for meals. They have an exaggeratedly high ego, and feel entitled to whatever they want.  To combat this, it is necessary to know very well how this behavior is and what its causes are.

What is narcissism?

It’s a personality disorder. The main characteristic of narcissism is:  exaggerated self-admiration.  They overestimate their abilities, lack empathy, and need to get the attention of others to feel good. Generally, their behavior generates people’s dislike, which  prevents them from having healthy friendships. 

They also have a series of behaviors, which are usually associated with bad education, when in reality, the parents tried to do exactly the opposite:

• They can only be understood by people of their own “type” or whom they consider superior.
• They believe they are entitled to everything.
• They treat everyone badly in their relationships. They are selfish and take advantage of people around them.
• They lack  empathy , as we mentioned earlier.
• They are very arrogant.
• They believe that others are jealous of them.
• They have very low self-esteem. That’s why they  constantly need admiration. 

How to avoid the problems of child narcissism?

Although, as mentioned earlier, narcissism  belongs to a class of  pathology , it is quite common to find signs of it in many overprotected children. It is our obligation to properly educate children so that this process does not develop. That understood, the next question is,  what can we do about it?

Don’t cater to your every whim

We must make it very clear to them that  we are not going to fulfill all of their requests. If they really want something, they have to earn it. They must know that  everything they have cost their parents an effort. That outside the home they won’t always get what they want and it’s much better that they get used to it. Otherwise, they can become insufferable people.

Teach to respect others

It is right that it is very important that the child feels loved, however,  it is also important that he does not believe that he is superior to others.  We must teach her that, even though she is very special, there are other special children, each one in their own way.

She must respect them and like them all. A good motivation for this would be to allow her to go to play in other children’s houses and also for others to come and play in her house. So you will get used to sharing and relating to families different from yours.

Any act has its consequences

If he behaves badly, he will be punished. If you behave well, you will get a small reward.  This will encourage you to change your behavior and know that you are not untouchable.

It is not necessary to extol their mistakes, nor humiliate the child for it, nor leave them aside. She must learn to accept the consequences of her actions.  So in the future, you will reflect before acting.

Let them face small challenges

The biggest drawback of narcissism is that it  prevents our children from maturing.  Let them face small daily challenges, like learning to make the bed in the shortest time possible, or tying their shoes in a different way.

With these little challenges,  the child will learn to do things by themselves. You can also motivate her to help in the kitchen, letting her do her own mixes and other things she likes. So, step by step, you  may get used to eating healthily.