What To Do When Your Child Is Asking For Your Attention Too Much
It’s normal for children to need your attention and approval. However, attention seeking becomes a problem when it happens all the time.
Many children may exhibit negative behaviors just to get the attention of adults. Excessive attention seeking can end up making your child want to control your life.
Many of them misbehave to get attention. This is the most obvious reason for the bad behavior exhibited by young children.
If this is not dealt with in time, it could be the trigger for discipline problems in childhood and adolescence that will surface in the future.
If you are allowed to misbehave or if you always indulge the child’s will after misbehaving, in the future the seed of tyranny will germinate.
Your goal is not to eliminate your child’s need for attention and approval, because it’s natural for him to need it.
When you can handle these situations correctly, your child’s need for attention can become a useful tool in improving his behavior.
It is not necessary to end the need for attention, but rather those behaviors that aim to attract attention through unacceptable behaviors.
An example for correctly paying attention to children can be understood in the following sentence that a mother or father says to their child:
“Son, I know you want me to stay and paint with you, but I’m busy right now. If you are patient and paint alone for ten minutes, then I can come back and spend a little time with you painting”.
This way, the child will get the attention he needs and will learn to wait.
When your attention is excessive
That will depend on you. How much need for attention can you tolerate? The rule is that children will seek the attention you are able to give.
You will need to strike a balance between how much your children want your attention and how much you can give at certain times. Even normal attention can become stressful on tough days.
Don’t let your children’s need for attention become constant demands for attention.
When children don’t get enough attention, they resort to outbursts of behavior, quirks, and tantrums. Consequently, they end up bothering, mocking and may resort to other inconvenient behaviors.
They think things like: “If I can’t get attention for good, then I’m going to behave badly to get Mom’s attention”.
And if they do, you’re going to produce negative reinforcement. In this way, the child will return to misbehavior in the future because he will receive your full attention.
Different types of attention
Adult attention and approval are among the strongest rewards for children. Unfortunately, parents rarely use attention wisely. There are three types of attention: attention or positive reinforcement, attention or negative reinforcement, and inattention.
When we give children attention and approval when they behave well, they receive positive attention. Positive attention means encouraging positive behavior when you present yourself and focus on that behavior.
Positive attention can be transformed into words of praise or comfort, closeness, hugs or a simple “hit here”. A compliment also works very well. Positive attention increases good behavior.
On the other hand, if you pay attention to your child when he misbehaves, you are giving him negative attention or negative reinforcement. Negative attention usually comes when something starts to bother you.
Consequently, you can make threats, get angry or even scream. But negative attention to children is not a punishment, it is a reward. It neither punishes bad behavior nor reduces it, but encourages it.
Inattention is also a reality. When kids don’t get attention in a positive way, they’ll want their attention any way they can.
You should not pay attention to bad behavior, you should pay attention exclusively to good behavior.
That way you won’t reinforce the bad behavior, which won’t happen in the future. In addition, your child will learn that he will receive attention when he behaves well.
